


Even Further

by im_your_hope



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Crankiplier - Fandom, Unus Annus - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, No cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_your_hope/pseuds/im_your_hope
Summary: “This is what it means… to go even further beyond!”Ethan needs help. Mark is in denial.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 46
Kudos: 277





	Even Further

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Nothing in this fic is scientifically accurate. Please do not take this too seriously. That being said, I hope you enjoy! <3

Ethan calls him at 10:17 A.M. on a Thursday morning.

“Dude, where are you?” Mark asks. “You were supposed to be here like twenty minutes ago.” 

“Yeah…” Ethan agrees. His voice sounds weird, like his nose is all blocked up. “I’m not gonna be able to make it today…”

“What? Why not?” Mark demands. Ethan’s phone camera is pointed down at the floor so Mark can’t even glare at him. 

“I’m… sick,” Ethan says. He coughs loudly for emphasis.

“How sick?” Mark inquires. “Because you were sick when we filmed the King’s Royal fitness test and you didn’t let that stop you.”

“Sicker than that.”

Mark frowns. He really does sound very congested. “Well, how sick?” he repeats. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No… it’s not that bad…” 

Mark squints suspiciously, peering into his phone screen as if he’ll be able to glimpse Ethan’s face if he just looks hard enough.

“If it’s not that bad why can’t we film today? And why are you pointing your phone at the floor?!”

“I just  _ can’t _ , Mark!” Ethan cries, and… wait yeah he actually is crying.

“Are you crying?” Mark exclaims. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s  _ nothing _ , I’m  _ fine…”  _ Ethan responds. So why does it sound like he’s crying even harder?

“I’m coming over,” Mark decides.

_ "Mark, no!” _ Ethan yells, but Mark just ends the call. 

It’s not that he’s  _ worried  _ or anything. He’s just curious. Maybe mildly concerned, at a stretch.

Ethan does cry a lot. More than the average person. He has overactive tear ducts. So honestly it’s not that weird for Ethan to be crying. The real mystery is why he says he can’t film, especially on one of their designated Unus Annus film days. He knows they have to stick to the schedule.

Mark lets himself into Ethan’s house and observes the empty foyer. 

“Ethan?” he calls, toeing his shoes off by the door. 

No answer. Mark stomps up the stairs, calling Ethan’s name again. 

He stops outside Ethan’s closed bedroom door. “Ethan, I’m coming in,” he warns, twisting the knob and slowly pushing the door open.

Ethan is nothing more than a lump underneath the bed covers. Mark can’t see a single part of him. Can he even breathe in there?

“Ethan. What the hell.”

“Go away, Mark,” comes the muffled response.

“Dude, just tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

Ethan contemplates this for a while, sniffling. Jesus, is he  _ still _ crying?

Mark approaches the bed carefully. “Come on. Tell me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

Mark scoffs. “I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen you do way more embarrassing shit than whatever this is.” 

“No, you haven’t.” Ethan refutes. The top of the lump moves back and forth like he’s shaking his head.

“Oh my god. Just tell me!”

“No!”

“Tell me, or I’ll rip these blankets off you!”

_ “No!” _ Ethan screeches. “No, Mark!  _ Please!”  _

Mark grabs the end of the blanket threateningly, and Ethan screams, “Wait! Fine! I’ll tell you! Just wait!”

Mark releases the blankets. “That’s more like it,” he says. 

Ethan’s outline takes a few deep breaths. “It’s so embarrassing, Mark…” he whines. 

Mark grabs the blankets and is about to pull them off the bed --

“My dick is broken!” Ethan shouts.

Mark pauses. Blinks. “What?”

“My  _ dick  _ is  _ broken _ ,” Ethan sobs, his breath hitching.

Mark’s first instinct is to laugh, so he does.

“It’s not  _ funny, _ Mark.” 

“I don’t understand what you mean,” Mark explains. “Did you jerk off too hard or what?”

“No,” Ethan mumbles.

“Well then what is it?!”

“It won’t go away.”

Mark squints, confused. “It won’t go --”

“I have a fucking boner!” Ethan exclaims shrilly, popping his head out of the blankets and scaring Mark half to death. “It won’t fucking go away! I woke up in the middle of the night with a fucking hard on, and no matter how many times I jerk off, it won’t fucking go down!”

Ethan sits up in his bed, revealing his bare shoulders and chest. 

“It’s been more than four hours, and it  _ hurts,  _ Mark.” A few more tears escape his watery eyes.

Okay. This is not what he was expecting. But it’s fine. Everything is fine.

“Did you take Viagra or something?”

“No,” Ethan groans. “I didn’t take anything! I don’t know why this is happening -- I’m not even horny!”

Mark frowns. “How long have you been like this?”

“Since about three-thirty this morning. How many hours is that?” 

Mark thinks for a moment. “A little over seven hours,” he responds, doing the math for Ethan.

Ethan groans, laying back against the pillows and crossing his arms over his face.

“You should have gone to the doctor four hours ago, man,” Mark tells him.

“I can’t go to the doctor!” Ethan exclaims, still hiding. “They don’t have time to help fix my stupid  _ erectile dysfunction!”  _

“Erectile dysfunction is actually a very serious --”

“Not more serious than fucking  _ COVID!” _

“Well, you got me there…” Mark admits.

“I signed into the online clinic a few hours ago,” Ethan continues, gesturing with one arm to his laptop. “But I’m still waiting in line.”

Pulling up the web page, Mark sees Ethan is thirty-second in line out of fifty-one people waiting to be helped. Yikes. 

“Then we’ll just have to figure it out ourselves,” Mark concludes. 

“How?”

“The internet, of course.” 

Mark sits on the edge of Ethan’s bed and begins the search for a solution. The internet has everything, they’ll be able to find  _ something _ that can help. Right?

They sit in silence, each of them scrolling through their phones. Mark learns a lot about erectile dysfunction he never knew.

The first thing they try is an ice pack, because ice is known to help reduce swelling. The only other suggestions on Web MD are things that can be done at a hospital. Since going to a hospital is not currently an option, Mark continues the search on less… reputable websites. He needs to find something he and Ethan can do at home. 

He stumbles across the topic of… prostatic massage. Apparently massaging the prostate can help with erectile dysfunction by clearing the prostatic duct. Massage might also interrupt infections and eliminate blocked fluids. There’s also the added benefit of helping remove toxins from the prostate. Interesting. This might be worth a try.

Ethan agrees. The ice didn’t seem to help at all, so they’re onto plan B. The only problem, of course, is that one of them will need to stick their fingers in Ethan’s ass.

Ethan seems to realize this at the same time Mark does. His eyes widen to an almost comical degree and he says, “I  _ can’t, _ Mark!”

Mark sighs, accepting his fate.

“I can’t put my fingers in my  _ own _ ass!” Ethan continues. He seems to be on the verge of having a mild panic attack. 

“I never said I wouldn’t do it,” Mark says calmly, raising his brows. 

“Re-really? You will?” 

“I will,” Mark confirms. “But I’m not going anywhere near your ass without gloves. And you need to get in the shower and wash  _ thoroughly _ with hot soapy water.”

Ethan nods along, pushing the covers off and running to the bathroom. The shower starts, and Mark sighs again. Then, he leaves the room to search for a pair of plastic gloves. And lube. 

He finds the gloves in a first aid kit under the kitchen sink. Finding lube proves to be a more difficult task, but he takes an unopened bottle from the bathroom upstairs and promises he’ll replace it with a new one.

The gloves are just a little too tight on his hands, but it’ll have to do. Ethan is still in the shower, so Mark makes his bed and lays several towels down on top of the bedspread. Then he sits and takes a moment to contemplate his life choices. Luckily, he doesn’t get too far down that rabbit hole by the time Ethan is finally done in the shower. 

The younger boy exits the bathroom with a towel around his waist and stops short at the sight in front of him, like a woodland creature caught in the headlights of a moving car.

“Get over here,” Mark says, trying to erase the sudden tension.

As Ethan cautiously approaches, Mark adds, “I’d like to reiterate: this is not sexual. Nothing about this is sexual. Just in case that wasn’t clear.”

“Of course, of course. Not sexual,” Ethan agrees. He stops in front of Mark, peeking at him from the corner of his eye.

“Well, get on the bed!” Mark says, gesturing to the towels. “Chop chop! We don’t have all day!”

Ethan snorts and drops his towel on the floor. For the first time, Mark has an uninhibited view of Ethan’s… problem. His dick stands proudly at attention, red all over except for the head which is more of a bruised purple color. Mark winces in sympathy.

Ethan kneels on all fours on top of the towels laid out on his comforter. He shifts his knees around a little to get comfortable and then looks back at Mark over his shoulder.

His very naked shoulder. And that is Ethan’s very naked ass right in Mark’s face. He stares for a moment, then shakes his head as if that will rid him of the cobwebs in his brain. He can’t allow himself to think too deeply about what he’s going to do. That way lies madness.

Without fanfare, Mark squirts a liberal amount of lube on his left palm, then also along the crack of Ethan’s ass.

Ethan yelps, flinching forward away from him. “Mark! It’s cold!” he exclaims. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Mark mutters, but he dips his fingers into the small pool of lube in his palm and rubs them together to warm it up. 

When he reaches toward Ethan’s ass with his lubed up fingers, Ethan says, “Wait!” and grabs Mark’s wrist. 

“What?” Mark asks, annoyed because Ethan does this  _ every single time  _ Mark is about to touch him. He’s the squirmiest bastard in existence. 

“Do -- do you know what you’re doing?” Ethan stutters.

“I read the article,” Mark offers.

“What if it hurts?” Ethan whines, still not releasing Mark’s wrist. 

“I’ll go slow,” he promises.

Reluctantly, Ethan drops his wrist.

A second later, he tries to grab it again.

“I swear to  _ god, _ Ethan, I will tie you up if you don’t stop,” Mark threatens.

“Ooh, kinky,” Ethan jokes, but he does turn around and place both hands firmly on the bed. “Just -- just be gentle. Please.” he requests.

Very  _ gently, _ Mark rubs his index finger against the puckered rim. He pushes the very tip of his finger inside, and Ethan clenches his muscles tightly at the intrusion.

“Relax,” Mark admonishes, removing his fingertip from Ethan’s ass and covering it in more lube. “Stop clenching.”

Mark tries again, but even with the added lube on the area, it refuses to open up.

“Relax!” Mark commands again, squirting more lube directly onto Ethan’s asscrack, making an absolute mess. When in doubt, add more lube. That’s his motto.

“I  _ am _ relaxed!” Ethan insists. He rests his forearms on the bed and leans on them, lowering his head down onto his folded hands. 

Mark prods his entrance again, the tip of his index finger slipping inside. He nudges inward slowly and then retracts, repeating the motion several times until the rigid muscles begin to give. According to the article, the prostate is approximately four inches inside, so he needs to fit his entire finger in to reach it.

It’s a slow process, but there’s something almost fascinating about the way the soft tissue and surprisingly strong muscles only open up a little bit at a time. 

Ethan’s heavy breathing fills the silence. 

It really is fascinating. And tight. Very, very tight. 

After pushing past the first ring of muscles, things become somewhat easier. As he slowly works in his entire forefinger, he marvels at the sensation of Ethan’s muscles gripping his finger, almost sucking him in. How is it doing that? It was so painstakingly slow to breach that outer ring of muscles, but as the passage is stretched more and more it’s like the muscles are resistant to his finger pulling out. That suction-y feeling is interesting on his finger, but what would it feel like on his dick --

_ No. _

No.

He did  _ not _ just think that. He is erasing that from his memory. It has been erased. 

Taking a deep breath, Mark begins to wiggle the tip of his finger, trying to locate Ethan’s prostate. Ethan makes a little noise under his breath, almost a whimper, but doesn’t protest. 

Mark curls his finger and brushes up against a little protrusion. 

Ethan gasps sharply and says,  _ “Oh!”  _

“I found your prostate,” Mark says, and why does  _ he _ sound breathless too?

“You d-did, you found it…” Ethan agrees. 

Mark begins to gently rub the pad of his finger against the little bundle of nerves.

Ethan moans shakily, then slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. Mark can’t see his face, but the back of his neck and ears are bright red. Mark ignores the heat in his own face.

He slides his finger out to apply more lube, and the glide of his finger back in is much smoother, the muscles welcoming him back and clamping down around the intrusion. 

He presses the pad of his finger just a  _ little _ bit harder against Ethan’s prostate. Ethan moans again, louder, the sound muffled by his palm.

“Does that feel good?” Mark asks. He genuinely wants to know. Of course he’s heard that prostate stimulation can be very pleasurable for men, but he’s never experienced it himself. 

“Yeah, feels good.  _ Fuck.”  _ The expletive sounds like its been punched out of him.

When Mark increases the pressure against Ethan’s prostate just a  _ bit _ more, Ethan groans breathlessly, chanting, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck --” and his thighs start to tremble.

And Mark is curious. He has to know. What will happen if he uses just a little more pressure? What will happen if he adds a second finger? 

Ethan likes it a lot, that’s what happens. He likes it so much he reaches back with both hands and spreads his ass cheeks open wide so Mark has an uninhibited view of his fingers sliding in and out, in and out…

Mark feels lightheaded with dizziness, short of breath and panting heavily. All the blood powering his cognitive functions has relocated to his dick, which is rock fucking hard. Not because he  _ likes _ it, he just has a boner because Ethan has a boner. It’s boner transference.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Mark mutters, ignorant of the words falling from his lips.

“Oh god,  _ Mark, don’t stop,” _ Ethan moans, and the temperature in the room skyrockets along with the rapid beating of his heart.

He rests his lubed up hand on the small of Ethan’s back, holding him in place as he thrusts two fingers in and out, less like a prostate massage and more like finger fucking with every passing second. And if Ethan moans his name again, then  _ good. _

_ Wait -- _

_ That’s not what he --  _

_ “Mmm… ohh…”  _ Ethan’s face is squished against his pillow, muffling him. He removes one hand from his ass and starts stroking his cock, his thighs trembling even harder, open so wide his stomach is almost touching the bed.

Mark is certain he’s going to spontaneously combust at any moment.

Ethan resurfaces for air, gasping. “I’m gonna come,” he whimpers. “Fuck,  _ Mark, I’m --” _ he cuts himself off with a sharp exhale as all the muscles around Mark’s fingers spasm and contract, squeezing his fingers so tightly --

And Ethan  _ keens, _ the sound ripped out of his chest, his body strung tight as he comes all over his bedspread, until finally, after an eternity, his body relaxes and he collapses in a heap right on top of the mess, dead to the world.

Slowly, Mark removes his fingers from Ethan’s ass and observes how the little ring of muscles clenches around nothing. He feels a perverse urge to insert his fingers back inside the greedy little hole -- to keep going until Ethan  _ screams -- _

Then he blinks and it’s like coming out of a trance. 

Ethan is starfished, face down on the bed. Mark would worry if he was still alive, but he’s breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling. 

Mark makes an excuse about cleaning up and stumbles to the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind him. He leans back against it and fumbles with the button on his jeans. Even just the sensation of rubbing against his cloth-covered dick sends heat shooting through his veins.

He pulls his pants and boxers down around his thighs and wraps both of his gloved hands around his cock, one at the base and one massaging the tip. The gloves are still slick with lube and he leans against the sink for support as his legs almost give out. He hasn’t been this turned on since… fucking ever.

His teeth sink into his bottom lip harshly as he moves his hands in tandem, jerking hard and fast. It’s not that he  _ wants  _ to come, it’s that he  _ needs  _ to come. He’s past the point of having a choice. Therefore, if he imagines Ethan’s tight ass while he gets off, it’s not his fault. 

He comes on the bathroom floor, muffling his moans into his shoulder and sliding down the wall until his ass hits the cold tiles, his legs trembling. He closes his eyes, panting and leaning against the bathtub, tingling with aftershocks. 

Fuck, he’s thirsty. He opens his eyes and sits up, his shirt sticking to his back with sweat. He’s a fucking mess. Should  _ he _ take a shower? He decides against it and instead cleans his spunk off the floor, flushing the toilet to get rid of the evidence. He throws the gloves in the trash and washes his hands, his racing heartbeat finally returning to its normal rhythm.

Ethan is still in the exact same position when Mark returns to his bedroom.

“Hey, Ethan. You okay?” Mark asks.

“Uhh… muhh…”

“I’ll take that as a yes. How’s your… problem?”

Ethan turns his head to the side, blinking up at Mark as if the light hurts his eyes. “Better,” he says, his voice rough. “You fixed it.” 

“Good, good. I’m glad.” Mark walks to the window, away from Ethan’s naked form. “You should get cleaned up,” he tells the window pane.

“Yeah,” Ethan agrees. He groans as he rolls out of bed, and Mark absolutely does  _ not  _ watch his naked ass walk away.

While Ethan is in the shower,  _ again, _ Mark gathers the soiled towels and puts them in the washer, because he’s a good  _ friend.  _ Then he waits in the kitchen.

“I put the towels in the wash,” Mark informs when Ethan joins him, fully dressed.

“Thank you, Mark!” Ethan chirps, giving him an astonished smile. Why is he always so surprised when Mark does something nice? Mark is a  _ nice person.  _ He does  _ nice things.  _

The silence stretches between them for half a second before Mark says, “So. Are we gonna film today or what?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ethan giggles. “Let’s do it.”

They film their videos and everything is normal. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. 

And it’s fine.

It’s all fine.

Everything is fine.

  
  


*

  
  


Except it’s not fine.

It’s not fine, because he  _ can’t stop thinking about it.  _

The thoughts -- the curiosity -- haunt him. Ethan writhing in pleasure, moaning shamelessly. Did it really feel that good? Just  _ how _ good did it feel? 

And how does that even  _ work? _ Are there pleasure receptors connected to your ass?  _ Why? _ For what evolutionary purpose? 

And what does it  _ feel _ like? Is it comparable to other pleasurable activities? Or is it different? It has to be different, right? He wouldn’t know. He’s never touched his prostate before. He’s never even had a prostate exam.

(Wait. Do prostate exams feel good? No no no -- focus!)

In fact, he’s never had anything inserted in his ass before. He’s never even thought about it. But now that its been brought to his attention -- that’s absolutely something he should experience! At least once in his life. He has to try it at least once. He  _ has _ to. The curiosity is driving him insane.

And why should he deny himself?

Now, all he has to do is convince Ethan to help him.

Shouldn’t be too difficult.

He dials Ethan’s number and hums to himself absentmindedly while it rings.

“Hello?” Ethan greets.

“Ethan! Hi. Listen, I can’t film today,” Mark begins.

“Oh? Why not?”

“Well, you see, I have a problem…”

“A problem? What kind of problem?”

Mark hesitates for a moment. “ …my dick is broken.”

Ethan chuckles nervously. “Is this a joke?”

“It’s not a joke,” Mark replies, then almost drops his phone when Ethan starts shrieking.

_ “What? Oh no, Mark! You too?! What the hell is going on?! Are you okay? Do you need help? Have you --” _

“Ethan!” Mark yells, “Calm down! My dick’s not  _ actually _ broken. I’m fine!”

“You -- oh.” Ethan sighs, “Oh, that’s good. You scared me!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ethan sighs again. “It’s okay. But then what do you mean when you say it’s not a joke?”

Mark hesitates again, thinking. How can he phrase this so that Ethan will understand?

“Listen,” he begins. “Listen. I’m not saying I  _ want _ a prostate massage. I just want to know what it’s like.”

He can almost  _ hear _ the cogs in Ethan’s brain whirring.

“Oh,” Ethan says. “Like with the taser. And the pepper spray.”

“Exactly!” Mark exclaims. “I knew you’d understand. The only difference is we’re not going to film it.”

Ethan laughs. “Yeah, that would be a little too weird even for us.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Will you get over here already?”

“All right! I’m leaving now.”

When Ethan arrives, Mark leads him to the bedroom.

“So… where’s Amy?” Ethan asks.

“I’m not going to force my girlfriend to watch this!” Mark exclaims, offended.

“Did you tell her what we’re doing?”

“No. But I don’t think I need to. What we’re doing is not at all sexual. It’s just an experiment.”

“Right. So it’s not cheating.” Ethan raises both of his eyebrows, the words more like a question than a statement.

“Of course it’s not cheating! Not even close!”

“Right,” Ethan repeats. “Because it’s not sexual.” He still sounds unsure.

“Why are you so dubious about this? It’s not sexual! None of this is sexual!”

“I’m not dubious! Just… making sure.” 

_ Making sure of what? _ Mark thinks but doesn’t say. Instead he gestures to his bed. “I’ve got everything set up.” He begins to undress. Getting naked in front of Ethan is second nature by now. 

Ethan meanders to the bedside table and picks up the bottle of lube. “It’s warm!” he chirps happily, smiling at Mark.

“That’s because I left it out in the sun all day.” Not that he was planning this or anything. “I took a very thorough shower earlier,” Mark informs as he kneels on his bed, towels spread out underneath him. 

Ethan uncaps the lube and is about to drizzle it on his hand. 

“You should probably put the gloves on  _ first,” _ Mark reminds him. 

“Oh yeah. I forgot about the gloves.” Ethan giggles. 

Mark rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. His chest feels warm. Why is he flattered? Because Ethan doesn’t think his ass is gross? Come on, man. Get it together.

“Okay. Gloves are on,” Ethan says. He opens the lube and drizzles the warm liquid over Mark’s ass. “It’s so slippery,” Ethan comments. Mark can faintly hear his fingers rubbing together. 

Ethan spreads Mark’s cheeks with one hand, going right for it. He presses against Mark’s hole gently, moving his finger in a circle, the pressure almost nonexistent. 

“It doesn’t look like how I thought it would,” Ethan murmurs. “I’ve never seen an asshole before.”

Mark releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “You -- could you focus, please?!”

“I am focused. Don’t worry about a thing.”

He rubs the tip of his finger with more intent along the rim of Mark’s hole, then slowly begins to slip the slick digit inside. Mark inhales deeply and consciously relaxes his muscles, accepting the intrusion.

So far the experience is just an uncomfortable sensation. It doesn’t hurt, but it is strange.

“It’s so tight,” Ethan murmurs to himself quietly. He spreads Mark’s ass cheeks further open. God, he’s really looking down there, isn’t he. Mark feels his face heat despite himself. 

“Mark, could you --”

“Hmm?”

“Could you, uh. Hold your butt cheeks open?”

“You want me to hold my own ass open for you?!” Mark shrieks. 

“Well, yeah.” 

Mark groans dramatically, but also reaches both his hands back to spread his own ass cheeks wide open. God, he’s so exposed. He can  _ feel _ Ethan staring. He closes his eyes and hides his flushed face in a pillow.

“That’s much better,” Ethan states with approval. “Now, some more lube…”

A warm drizzle is applied directly over his hole. Oh. That actually felt kind of good. His dick, half-hard, twitches in interest.

Ethan seems to be enjoying himself, gently prodding at Mark’s hole with one slick finger, slowly and painstakingly stretching his ass. Mark thinks it’s the most careful Ethan has ever been with him, which is nice, but…

“Hey, Ethan? Aren’t you supposed to be looking for something?”

The words are muffled by the pillow, but Ethan exclaims, “Oh yeah!” Then he adds, “Sorry, I got distracted.”

“It’s okay…” Mark mumbles, flustered.

Ethan twists his finger and begins curling it rhythmically, swiping it along his inner walls, searching, searching…

Then he rubs against something that must be directly connected to all the pleasure receptors in Mark’s brain, because a waterfall of sensation cascades over his entire body. 

_ Holy shit, yes. That. Do that again. _

“I will, don’t worry,” Ethan responds, and shit, did Mark say that out loud?

But he has no time to worry about it because Ethan rubs over that same spot again and  _ ohhh fuck. _ It feels so good he almost can’t believe it. Apparently having his prostate rubbed sets off every single pleasure button in his brain. Who knew?

And it doesn’t only feel good in his ass. Waves of sensation ripple down his body, the back of his head tingling, his nipples hardened nubs pressed against the bedspread.

“More,” he demands, and Ethan obliges. 

He adds a second finger to the mess, and Mark hisses a little at the stretch, but it’s  _ good. _ Two fingers rubbing is better than one, and the fullness is  _ really _ nice when you get used to it.

_ God, _ it’s so good. He’s almost afraid to touch his dick. He can feel it stiff between his thighs, leaking drops of precome, dripping on the towels. 

It’s all he can do just to hold on and breathe through the intense pleasure, the buzz under his skin. His prostate must also be connected directly to his heart, because it’s pounding in his chest ferociously. He’s not even doing anything -- just kneeling on his bed with his ass cheeks spread, but he’s panting like a fucking racehorse.

“More,” he commands. Ethan stops altogether, which is  _ the opposite _ of what he asked for! 

“Are you sure?” Ethan asks.

“Yes!” Mark confirms, his voice breathier than he intended.

Ethan takes his sweet time adding more lube and Mark breathes deeply, catching his breath and reminding himself it’s irrational to be so impatient.

Then Ethan adds a third finger and the stretch  _ burns.  _ He whimpers involuntarily and Ethan apologizes, removing his fingers. 

“No, don’t stop!” Mark demands. “I can take it. Keep going.” 

Ethan curses softly under his breath as he slowly inserts three fingers again. He places his free hand on the small of Mark’s back to hold him steady. Mark clenches his jaw and has to consciously stop himself from making any sounds. His lower lip feels hot and bitten raw. 

He can’t focus on anything but the sweet drag of Ethan’s three fingers in and out, in and out. Even without touching his prostate it still feels unbelievably good, like his ass was fucking  _ made _ to be stretched.

It takes a good few minutes before he’s stretched enough for Ethan to reach his prostate again, and by then it’s fucking game over. He wanted to draw this out for as long as he could, but he can’t take it anymore. He needs to come. He can’t wait any longer.

He releases one ass cheek and brings his hand around to his aching dick. He comes almost instantaneously, his ass clenching tight around Ethan’s fingers, waves of pleasure washing over him. He doesn’t stop until he’s milked every drop, and only then does he let himself fall forward, uncaring of the mess below. He winces as Ethan’s fingers slide out, and feels strangely empty.

His head buzzes pleasantly as he distantly registers the sound of Ethan removing his gloves and putting the lube away. Then the mattress dips slightly when Ethan sits next to him, not quite touching.

"How ya doin’, big guy?” he asks.

“M’good,” Mark slurs, eyes still closed. “How  _ you _ doin’?”

“I’m good. How’re you?”

“I’m feeling pretty good. How ‘bout yourself?”

“Pretty good, pretty good… are you, uh… gonna get cleaned up?”

“Mmm… in a little while.” He feels so relaxed, he doesn’t want to move yet.

“Okay. I’ll wait downstairs. Come down when you’re ready.” He pats Mark on the back once and then leaves, the door closing softly behind him. 

Mark floats for a while, enjoying not thinking about anything as his heart rate slowly falls back to normal. He must fall asleep, because when he next opens his eyes his skin is pebbled with goosebumps, the mess underneath him is cold and extremely uncomfortable, and the sun is setting on the horizon.

Blinking rapidly with disorientation, Mark groans and hefts himself out of bed. The house is quiet around him. He sighs. Ethan must have gone home. He dumps the soiled towels into his dirty laundry pile and walks to the bathroom for a shower.

His entire backside is sore. Did Ethan feel this sore? Mark only got two fingers in him, so maybe not. Although his fingers are thicker than Ethan’s. Should he ask him? Or is that too weird? Where is the line between normal weird and too weird?

Mark takes a quick, steamy hot shower and dresses in his favorite robe. Then he makes his way downstairs, fully expecting the house to be empty since Amy said she would be out with Kathryn until late. But when he enters the living room, he sees Ethan sitting on the couch looking at his phone, Chica sitting at his feet with her head resting on his knee.

They hear him coming down the hall and both perk up at the same time, Chica wagging her tail and Ethan with a smile, and it’s really fucking cute.

“Mark! You’re alive!” Ethan exclaims.

“It wasn’t  _ that _ long,” Mark retorts, not showing any of the surprise he feels about Ethan waiting patiently this whole time. “I’m hungry,” he adds, leading the way to the kitchen. “What do you feel like eating?”

Ethan and Chica follow him. “Hmm… Breakfast?”

“Breakfast for dinner? Sounds good to me.”

So they cook breakfast, Mark in charge of pancakes and Ethan in charge of bacon and eggs. Ethan explains his new video ideas for Unus Annus while Mark listens, adding his own input when necessary.

If someone were to look in on them from the outside, it would seem as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. 

Mark would almost believe it too, if it weren’t for the lingering ache in his ass where Ethan’s fingers used to be.

  
  


*

  
  


Days pass. The soreness in his ass slowly fades to nothing. Mark wishes he could say the same about his thoughts.

He tried it. He  _ experienced _ a prostate massage. He did exactly what he wanted to do. So why does he want  _ more?  _

He had this thought the very same night Ethan fingered his ass. Unable to sleep due to his impromptu nap before dinner, his thoughts whirled around and around in circles in his head. And he thought a thought so terrifying -- so dangerous -- he doesn’t even want to repeat it to himself in the safety of his own mind. __

_ I know what Ethan’s  _ fingers _ feel like in my ass. What about his  _ dick?

It’s ridiculous. Preposterous. A bad joke. He can’t believe those words actually passed through his consciousness. More than that, he can’t believe  _ he’s still thinking about it  _ even days later.

He can’t help it. It’s not his fault. He gets an idea in his head and it plagues him. It hounds him. It bites him like a rabid dog and won’t let go until he reaches a satisfactory conclusion.

(In a dark corner of his mind, he thinks these questions are valid.  _ What would it feel like? _ A dick is different from fingers in almost every way. It’s shaped differently, it’s thicker, it’s longer, it moves differently…  _ what would it feel like? He wants to know.)  _

He’s stuck. He doesn’t know what to do. And what does he do when he doesn’t know what to do?

He talks to Amy.

So that’s what he does.

He pretends he wants to go to bed early because he’s tired, but really he wants to converse with her under the cover of darkness. He waits until they’re situated comfortably, lights off and ready to fall to sleep.

Mark clears his throat softly. “Do you think I go too far?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Amy replies. He can hear the smile in her voice. 

“No, I mean --” he can’t figure out how to explain it. “There’s too far and then there’s  _ too far,  _ you know?”

Amy leans up on her elbows, squinting at him through the darkness. “What are you trying to say, Mark?”

Mark inhales deeply, thinking. He can’t exactly ask for her advice without telling her the backstory, can he? He knows she’ll understand, but a small part of him still squirms in nervousness. “I need to tell you something,” he murmurs. 

“Hold on,” Amy interjects. She flicks the bedside lamp on, and Mark blinks in the unwelcome light, frowning. “Okay, I’m ready. Go ahead.”

Mark sighs, but begins. “It’s about Ethan. No, it  _ involves  _ Ethan. It’s not  _ about  _ him.” Mark clears his throat again. How should he say this?

Amy misinterprets his hesitation. “Did you two kiss?” she asks curiously. 

Mark chokes. “WHAT?! NO! Of course not! Why would we -- why would you even ask me that?!”

Amy shrugs, unbothered. “It wouldn’t surprise me if you did.”

Mark scoffs inarticulately, struggling to find words. “I only want to kiss you! I don’t want to kiss anyone else!”

Amy hums, nodding in agreement. “I appreciate that,” she tells him. “But…”

Mark waits patiently for her to finish her thought, even though he knows he’s not going to like whatever she says. 

“...I wouldn’t be mad if you did.”

Mark chokes. Again. “WHAT??” he repeats.

“It’s not that I  _ want  _ you to kiss Ethan,” Amy explains. “It’s just that I wouldn’t be mad if you did.”

_ “That still doesn’t make any sense!”  _

Mark takes a deep breath. He needs to calm down. “So it wouldn’t bother you?” he asks after a few moments. “It really wouldn’t? You’re saying you don’t care if I kiss someone else?” He can’t quite keep the hurt out of his voice. 

Amy frowns. “That’s not what I said. I don’t want you to kiss other people. Definitely not. It’s only okay if you kiss  _ Ethan. _ No one else.”

Now Mark is even more confused. “What?” he says again, weakly this time. “Why is it okay if I kiss Ethan but no one else?”

“Because it’s Ethan,” she answers simply. Like it’s obvious. 

“Because it’s Ethan,” Mark echoes, but it’s much more dubious. 

“Because it’s Ethan!” Amy smiles beautifully. “And we love him.” 

Mark contemplates this for a moment. He supposes it’s true. Not something they really talk about, but true all the same. Undeniably true, like the undisputed facts of the world. The sky is blue. No one lives forever. We love Ethan.

Makes sense.

Mark blinks, forcing himself back to the present, and what he  _ actually _ wants to talk about.

“Wait. Why are we even talking about this? I didn’t kiss Ethan. That’s not what I was going to say.”

“What were you going to say?”

Mark sighs. “About two weeks ago, I had to help Ethan with…” Hmm. Maybe he should start from the beginning. “You see, he called me and said he couldn’t film. Which was suspicious. And then I heard him crying over the phone, so I went to his house…”

Amy nods for him to continue, her brows furrowed in concern. 

“And well, he needed help with… you see, his…” Mark sighs again, louder. “It’s gonna sound bad, but it really wasn’t like that, okay?”

“What wasn’t like what?” Amy’s eyebrows are judging him now. 

“I had to help Ethan fix his dick.” 

Amy barks out an incredulous laugh, throwing her head back. “What?” she wheezes. “That escalated quickly!” she laughs again, her eyes squeezed shut.

“It wasn’t like that!” Mark defends. “Ethan had a boner and it wouldn’t go away! Apparently it’s not that uncommon!”

_ “Oh, _ so you had to help Ethan get rid of his boner.  _ Right.”  _

“Yeah, exactly!” Mark exclaims. He does not appreciate the sarcasm. “It was hurting him! And I know it sounds bad, but it wasn’t sexual! It really wasn’t! I didn’t even touch his dick! Please don’t be mad!”

“I’m not mad,” Amy reassures. “I believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me.” 

“Yeah, exactly.” Mark repeats, relieved. “The only reason I waited so long to tell you is because the event was so insignificant I didn’t even think it needed mentioning.” 

“Uh huh.” Amy says, crossing her arms over her chest. “So why are we talking about it now, then?”

“Well... I’m getting to it.” Mark clears his throat and continues: “We couldn’t go to a hospital, and we didn’t know what to do, so we looked on the internet.”

“Of course,” Amy agrees.

“And I saw an article about prostate massages.” He pauses, waiting for her reaction. She just nods some more, so he says: “Prostatic massages actually have a lot of benefits.”

Amy doesn’t say anything.

Mark coughs. “So anyway. I made him shower first. Wash real good. And I wore gloves! So… yeah.” God. Why is he making this so awkward?

Amy presses her lips together. She’s either trying not to laugh, or suddenly very constipated. “So you… fingered him,” she states, voice shaking slightly.

“Er, well… yes. But not in a sexual way.” He needs to make that clear. Again.

Amy rolls her eyes. “Okay. Was that all you wanted to tell me?”

“Um. Not quite.” He clears his throat again, wilfully ignoring how his whole face is getting hot. “It was Ethan’s first time being… fingered. But, he actually liked it a lot. Like. Really a lot.” Shit. Mark is definitely blushing now. Ignore it, ignore it. 

“And I thought. Well. If it felt  _ that _ good… I wanted to know what it was like.”

Amy’s mouth drops open in surprise, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Ethan agreed to help me out. We were both very clear that it  _ wasn’t sexual.  _ It was just an experiment, so I could feel it for myself.” 

Amy is still stunned. “Where was I?” she wonders. 

“It was the day you were with Kathryn.”

“Oh.” Amy blinks rapidly, and then focuses her attention on him more intently. “So… did you like it?”

“Yeah!” Mark admits. “I did like it. That’s what I want to talk about, actually.” 

Amy waits, gesturing for him to continue. 

“It was actually surprising how much I liked it,” Mark explains. He shifts, biting his lower lip as he remembers how good it felt. “And I tried to do it myself, but it doesn’t feel nearly as good with my own fingers.” 

Amy’s mouth falls open again. “Wow.” she breathes, stunned. “So…” she pauses to think about what she wants to say. Mark waits patiently, his heart thudding. 

“So, you’re telling me this because… because you want to do it again? With Ethan?”

“Hmm. Yes. Kind of? I do, except instead of his fingers, I want Ethan to use his… dick.”

Amy scoffs, the first hint of irritation making itself known. “So you want him to fuck you.”

“No!” Mark denies immediately.

Amy glares. 

“Well… okay, yes. But it’s not like that!”

Amy raises one unimpressed eyebrow.

“I just want to know what it feels like,” Mark whispers. “But I won’t do it if you don’t want me to. That’s why I wanted to ask you first.”

Amy sighs. “It’s not that I don’t want you to. I honestly don’t see a problem with it. What did Ethan say?”

“Err… I haven’t asked him yet.” 

Amy groans in frustration, flopping down onto the bed next to him. “You haven’t even asked him? So you don’t even know if he’ll agree. Why are you asking me for permission then?”

“I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first,” Mark defends. 

“Well. I appreciate that,” Amy acknowledges. “But what if he says no?”

If Ethan says no? He didn’t think about that. He always just assumed Ethan would say yes. But if he says  _ no… _ “Then I won’t do it at all.”

Amy’s tense form relaxes. “Okay. Good. I don’t like the thought of you having sex with a random stranger.”

“But with Ethan it’s okay?” Mark wonders. It still doesn’t make sense to him.

“Yes.” Amy decides. “If Ethan agrees, it’s okay with me.”

Mark ponders this for a moment. “You’re really amazing, you know that?” he says. She’s so selfless, and understanding. No other woman would put up with his shit. And not only that, but put up with his shit and actually  _ love him, _ and support him. He really did win the lottery with her. 

“I’m not that great,” Amy snorts. “I’m only agreeing because it’s Ethan.” Then she leans up on her elbow and leans over him, glaring fiercely. 

“To be clear, this is not me agreeing to an open relationship. If I hear anything about you with anyone else,  _ I will not forgive you.” _

Mark swallows. “Yes, of course.” It’s not a hardship to agree with that. He doesn’t want anyone else, anyway. “Only Ethan.”

“Only Ethan,” she confirms. 

They breathe together in silence for a while. Mark isn’t anywhere near being tired. 

“So if Ethan says yes… do you want to watch?” It’s not that he  _ wants _ her to watch… but he figures since she’s being so generous, he should at least give her the option.

Amy thinks about it for a long time. A worryingly long time. Did she fall asleep? 

But then finally, she says, “No.” She doesn’t explain further, and Mark accepts her answer. “Let me know how it goes, though,” she adds.

“Okay,” Mark agrees. Other words and promises fill his head, and he debates if he should say anything else. Maybe he should explain himself more? So she knows exactly why he  _ needs _ to do this.

But in the end, he doesn’t. Because he knows she understands. 

The next day, Amy leaves within ten minutes of Ethan’s arrival. 

“I won’t be back until later,” she announces, smiling and waving at them as she exits the house, the door snapping shut behind her. 

Ethan blinks at him in confusion. “Amy’s not going to film for us today? And where’s Evan?”

“Yeah, something came up,” Mark evades. “Listen, Ethan. Can we film later? I have a request.” 

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I… want to go  _ even further.” _

“Okay, yeah. You usually do.” Ethan grins. “Can you be more specific? What do you want exactly?”

“I want you to help me experience anal sex.”

Ethan chuckles nervously, like Mark is joking. But Mark is not joking. 

The smile slips off Ethan’s face. “Wait. What?”

“I want to experience anal sex. With a dick. Just once. Just one time, I want to know what it’s like.” 

Ethan stares at him, all traces of humor gone. 

“I mean, I don’t want to go my whole life without knowing,” Mark babbles. “I just want to experience it once. You know how I am. Once I get an idea in my head I have to do it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ethan agrees. “I… why are you asking me, though? I mean, don’t you think you should ask a professional or something? I’ve never even had anal sex before.”

“Nah, that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to do it with someone I don’t trust.”

“I… wait, is this why Amy left? Is she okay with this?” 

“Yes, that is why she left,” Mark confirms. “I asked her about it last night.” 

“And she  _ agreed? _ For you -- with  _ me?”  _

“Yes.” Ethan still doesn’t seem to believe him. “We talked last night. You can call her if you don’t believe me.”

“No, I -- I believe you. I just don’t… understand.” Ethan runs a hand through his hair, an edge of panic lingering behind his eyes. 

“What’s the problem?” Mark frowns. “If you don’t want to do it, that’s --”

“That’s not the problem,” Ethan assures. “Of course I want to.” He stops abruptly, his face reddening like a ripe tomato. 

Mark smiles brightly, confidence restored. “What is it, then?”

Ethan squints at him, suspicious. “You know we can’t say it’s not sexual anymore, right? Because it  _ is _ sexual. It’s literally sex.”

“I know,” Mark agrees. 

“So what does that mean for us? Like, are we friends with benefits now?”

“No! No, nothing has to change. Nothing  _ will _ change. I just, this  _ one time,  _ want to experience anal sex. Nothing has to change.”

Ethan hums, thinking. “Well… I guess… if you really want to? Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m definitely sure. But I want you to think about it more. I don’t want to force you.”

Ethan nods. “Yeah, I’ll think about it more… should we film for a while first, maybe?”

“Sure!” Mark agrees, already moving to get the camera. 

They film for a while, easy content since Ethan is obviously distracted with his thoughts. They eat lunch, and brainstorm more video ideas. 

In the early afternoon, Ethan looks him in the eyes and says, very seriously, “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. We’ll have sex once, and it won’t change our relationship. Because I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship for sex.”

And it’s really kind of sweet, Mark thinks. “This will not ruin our friendship,” he says. “I promise.” 

“Okay. Then I will. I want to.” Ethan smiles, shy. 

Mark grins, warm all over. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Mark.” Ethan bites his lip, giggling. 

“Dude. Man. I really appreciate this.” Mark is still smiling. 

“Yeah, of course. So where do you wanna do it?”

Anticipation zings through Mark like a bolt of lightning. Is he really doing this? He bites his lower lip. 

Yes, he wants to. 

He stands, gesturing for Ethan to follow him. He won’t do this in the bedroom, so he leads Ethan to the black leather couch in his second office, closing the door firmly. The couch is big and comfy, and it will be easy to clean up any… fluids. 

“Is in here okay?” he asks.

“Sure is,” Ethan responds. 

“Great! Let’s get undressed.” There’s no point waiting, after all. Mark practically rips his shirt off and throws it across the room. He’s already got his pants unbuttoned and halfway down his legs before Ethan finally gets with the program. 

“I’ve got lube and condoms right here,” Mark points to his desk. He pulls his briefs down and flicks his socks off, unceremoniously draping his naked form over the couch. He rests his forearms on the back, his knees digging into the leather, ass out.

He waits for a moment, then looks back over his shoulder. Ethan is struggling with his socks. He catches Mark’s gaze. “Full disclaimer, Mark: I really don’t know what I’m doing,” Ethan tells him as he finally loses his last piece of clothing. 

“Well you’ve already done the most important step once before, so you’re halfway there,” Mark encourages. 

“Right. The preparation,” Ethan murmurs. “Very important.” He reaches for the lube and squirts it on his hand too hard, the liquid splashing vigorously. “This one’s more watery!” he exclaims, surprised. 

“Yes, this one’s safe for condoms,” Mark explains patiently. He resituates himself, spreading his legs a little more. He grips the back of the couch, waiting. 

Ethan hums, and Mark can hear him squirting more lube onto his hand. Mark’s breath hitches when he feels Ethan’s fingers rubbing gently over his entrance, spreading the lube around. Already it feels different than before, since Ethan isn’t wearing gloves this time. His fingers are warm.

He pushes the tip of one finger inside slowly, and murmurs, “You know Mark, your ass is something else. An ass for the gods. An ass  _ made _ for the gods.”

“Thank you,” Mark murmurs just as quietly, hiding his smile even though Ethan can’t see it anyway. 

Ethan works one finger in methodically, and rubs against his prostate as soon as he’s able to reach it. Mark grunts, shivering. Fuck, he missed that. Still, that’s not the point of this.

“Try to avoid my prostate for now,” Mark instructs. “I don’t want to get off on the prep.”

“Yes sir,” Ethan complies. He adds more lube, and starts working in a second finger. 

Mark focuses on his breathing as Ethan gets both fingers all the way in, and swirls them around slowly, stretching his inner walls. He avoids Mark’s prostate, but it still feels good in a weird way. It burns a little when Ethan adds a third finger, but Mark doesn’t mind. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to touch your prostate?” Ethan teases. “Not even a little bit?” He barely grazes one finger against the little bundle of nerves, just enough pressure for little tingles of pleasure to crawl down Mark’s spine. 

“Don’t tease me,” Mark warns.

In response, Ethan rubs against his prostate more firmly, just the right amount of pressure. 

“Ohh,” Mark moans quietly. He wants to be annoyed, but it’s hard when it feels so good. He wonders if maybe he should have prepared himself. But that would be assuming too much, wouldn’t it? And anyway, he wants Ethan to do it.

“I think I’m ready,” Mark gasps, because he really doesn’t want to get off on the prep. 

“Maybe just a little more,” Ethan argues. He spreads his fingers a little, and Mark can feel the tip of his pinky finger trying to slip in with his other three fingers. 

_ Fuck. _ Mark clenches his jaw, his lungs heaving. Ethan works four fingers inside him, his other hand holding Mark steady with a firm grip on his hip. Ethan’s knuckles brush against his prostate and the worst part is Mark doesn’t think he did it on purpose that time. 

“Ethan,  _ I’m ready,” _ Mark insists. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Ethan says. He sounds as breathless as Mark feels. 

Mark waits impatiently as Ethan slides a condom on and applies more lube. Then Ethan presses the head of his dick against Mark’s hole and guides himself in, pushing forward and burying his dick in one smooth thrust. 

_ Holy shit. _ Mark’s mouth drops open. He was wrong. He lied to himself. He wasn’t ready. He was not prepared. But Ethan could have fingered him for hours and he still probably wouldn’t have been prepared for this. 

It almost hurts, but not quite. It’s overwhelming more than anything, on the edge of being  _ too much. _

Then Ethan starts moving, and Mark slumps forward, his head resting on the back of the couch. He’s so focused on the sensation of Ethan’s cock sliding out, then pushing in, and out and in, and out and in, that it takes him a while to notice Ethan’s muffled cursing. 

“Fuck! Oh my god,  _ Mark --” _

And Mark  _ knows _ that tone of voice, knows what it means.

“Don’t you dare come, Ethan,” he commands. “Do not come yet, do you hear me? Don’t come until I tell you to come --”

“I --  _ fuck _ \-- I won’t come until you come, Mark,” Ethan promises. He squeezes Mark’s hips, just shy of too hard. 

With their current angle, his dick only brushes against Mark’s prostate with each thrust, the lightest pressure. Mark pushes back a little, and bends himself forward so he’s leaning on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against the couch cushions. 

Ethan gets the idea, and lifts one foot up on the armrest of the couch. He experiments with the angle of his thrusts, until Mark very vocally informs him when he’s hit Mark’s prostate spot on.

“Fffuck, yes! There, right there!” he demands, shoving his ass back. 

Ethan grunts his acknowledgement and focuses all his energy on fucking that magic spot.

Mark stops moving and holds himself obediently still, taking it. 

It’s indescribable, a kind of pleasure/pain combination he’s never felt before. Ethan’s dick is longer than his fingers -- probably only a few inches longer, but in his ass it feels like a  _ mile --  _ and it fucking  _ burns _ when Ethan shoves in, so fucking deep.

But the friction of Ethan’s cockhead hitting his prostate overshadows everything. He’s bent over at a weird angle and his shoulder and face are being pushed relentlessly into the couch, but he doesn’t feel any of that because it’s nothing compared to the waves of bliss rolling through him, overflowing. 

Mark gazes unseeingly at the black leather in front of his face, his damp hair falling over his eyes, a ticklish nuisance he doesn’t even notice. 

He  _ does _ notice when the tempo of Ethan’s hips falters, his pace becoming erratic. 

“You better not come,” Mark mutters. “I’m not done yet. You can’t come before I’m done.” 

“I’m not gonna come yet,” Ethan huffs, panting. “Just getting more lube.” He squirts more lube over where they’re still connected, excess liquid dripping slowly down Mark’s balls. 

Mark grunts. “You better not come, Ethan,” he repeats. “You better not --”

“I’m not gonna come before you, Mark,” Ethan interrupts. He threads his fingers through Mark’s hair, pushing it back out of his face and gripping it in a tight fist, twisting his neck and forcing Mark to look up at him. 

“You’re gonna come first, Mark,” Ethan tells him, gazing into his eyes. “I’m gonna make you come first.” There’s something about his eyes that Mark finds mesmerizing. His expression is almost angry, but not quite. It feels like he’s challenging Mark, insisting he’s going to make Mark come first. And even though that’s what Mark wants, he never backs down from a challenge.

“Yeah?” Mark goads, pulling against Ethan’s grip in his hair, and biting his lip to stifle a moan when Ethan clenches his fingers tighter in response, holding him there. “You gonna make me come?” He clenches his muscles, squeezing around Ethan’s dick inside him. 

_ “Mark,” _ Ethan growls,  _ “Fuck. _ Yeah, I’m gonna make you come.  _ Fuck.”  _

Mark smirks, about to respond, when Ethan fucks the thought right out of him, hips snapping. “You come first,” is what he ends up saying, the words slurring together.

Ethan understands him though, because he growls again and thrusts harder, faster. “You’re gonna come first, Mark. I. Will. Not. Come. First.” He punctuates each word with a thrust, and Mark doesn’t care so much about the challenge anymore, as long as Ethan doesn’t stop doing that. 

Mark holds eye contact with Ethan, unable to look away. “You feel so good in there,” he whispers, mindless. 

Ethan’s eyes widen, his expression clearing.  _ “Oh my god,” _ he moans, squeezing his eyes shut. Blindly, he reaches down with his free hand and curls his fingers around Mark’s neglected cock, stroking in time with his thrusts. 

All the breath stutters out of Mark’s lungs, and he struggles to keep his eyes open under the onslaught of so many pleasure receptors being stimulated at once. He knows he’s getting close, but he wants more. 

“Ethan.” he calls, and the younger boy’s eyes snap open, his stare fixed on Mark’s face. “Harder.”

_ “Fffffuck,” _ Ethan pants, his throat working. He lifts his other foot, climbing onto the couch and draping himself over Mark. He releases the fingers in Mark’s hair and winds his arm around Mark’s chest, holding him tight and thrusting harder. 

He’s not hitting Mark’s prostate anymore at this angle, but that’s fine, that’s good, because each snapping thrust still forces all the breath from Mark’s lungs. 

“Harder,” he urges. He wants all of it, he wants  _ it all. _

Ethan whimpers near his ear, thrusting forward harshly, driving him into the couch. “Please, Mark.  _ Please,” _ he begs, and it pushes Mark over the edge, that his ass is so good he reduced Ethan to  _ begging --  _

Mark comes silently, biting his lower lip savagely. Evidence of his pleasure shoots across the couch, his muscles clenching hard around the cock in his ass. His orgasm rushes over him, ripped from somewhere deep inside, a searing pleasure that leaves him breathless and boneless when it finally ends. 

He winces as Ethan slowly pulls out. “Oww,” he complains, his face squished against the couch again, his hair a mess falling over his face.

“Sorry,” Ethan murmurs. Mark hears him stand and wander over to the trash can, but doesn’t open his eyes to watch. 

Ethan’s footsteps approach him again. “You okay?” he asks, still catching his breath. 

Mark groans as he shifts himself to a somewhat vertical seated position. “Yeah,” he huffs. “I’m good. Just sore.” 

“Sorry,” Ethan apologizes again, but he’s smiling.

“Did you come?” Mark asks. 

“Yeah,” Ethan smirks. “After you.”

And he’s so smug about his little victory, Mark almost says,  _ “I’ll win next time,” _ but he swallows the words back before they can escape, because there won’t  _ be _ a next time. Ethan agreed to this as a  _ one-time _ thing, that had been very clear.

So Mark doesn’t say anything, just watches silently as Ethan uses a wet wipe and paper towels to clean the come and lube off the couch.

“Can I shower now?” Ethan asks when he’s done wiping everything. 

“Yeah, of course,” Mark answers on autopilot, and watches as Ethan retrieves his clothes and exits the room.

Mark stays on the couch for a while longer, not thinking, just existing. He can’t allow himself to think right now, because his thoughts will circle around what just happened and that way lies madness. 

So he stands, and pretends he doesn’t feel an aching soreness in his ass. He walks to his bathroom and gathers the materials he’ll need for a shower. He focuses on more important things, like the videos they have planned for that evening, and what they’re going to have for dinner. 

  
  


*

  
  


How far is too far? How much is too much? Where is the line, and when did he cross it?

Was it when he agreed to give Ethan a  _ prostate massage? _ Was it when they painted each other naked for Unus Annus? Or was it  _ before _ that?

Does it even really matter?

It probably doesn’t matter. The point is, there  _ was _ a line, and it has been crossed, probably a long time ago. And now that fact is staring Mark in the face, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

So he ignores it. He smiles and laughs and films and edits and sleeps and eats and pays special attention to his actions and reactions when he’s around Ethan. Annoyingly, Ethan doesn’t seem to be having the same troubles at all. Mark doesn’t notice anything different about the younger boy in the following weeks. So either Ethan is better at hiding his emotions than Mark thought, or he really has forgotten about it and moved on. 

And it’s annoying. Even though it’s what Mark wanted, what he  _ expected,  _ he still wishes Ethan was struggling like he is. At least then he wouldn’t be alone. 

It pisses him off. More than anything, he wishes he could just forget about it. But when Ethan does anything even remotely suggestive (which is  _ all the time) _ he remembers how it felt when his dick entered Mark for the first time. It  _ fucks him up _ how easily he slid in, and how good it felt.

And more than that, Mark remembers how he got off on it. Not just because of Ethan’s dick, but because of  _ Ethan. _ And more and more, he finds himself watching Ethan and imagining what it would be like to fuck him against the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the backseat of his fucking Tesla. He could make Ethan beg for a different reason, he could make Ethan do or say anything he wanted. And a part of him  _ wants it.  _

The other part of him feels an almost overpowering sense of anguish. Because why is he like this? He has Amy, who is better than him in every single way and loves him anyway. He doesn’t  _ need _ anyone else. He shouldn’t  _ want  _ anyone else. 

Inadvertently, he makes the entire situation harder on himself during dinner with Amy one night.

“So… is it okay with you if I have sex with Ethan again?”

He’s expecting her to say no. If she says no, then he won’t. Simple as that. And knowing for sure that it’s not acceptable a second time, that should help him stop thinking about it.

But Amy hums, twirling her fork round and round in her spaghetti, and says, “Sure. Why not?”

Mark chokes. 

Why not?  _ Why not? _ Because it’s weird, right? To fuck one of your best friends while also being in a committed relationship with your girlfriend, whom you  _ are in love with?  _

But since when has being weird ever stopped him? What he does in his personal life is no one’s business, and it’s not like he’d be  _ breaking the law. _

No, no, no, stop making excuses!

“So…” Mark stutters, “If I were to, say… have sex with Ethan on a regular basis, that wouldn’t bother you?”

“Nope,” Amy smiles at him indulgently. “Just don’t forget about me.” And she winks. 

Mark just kind of sits there, devastated. Devastated because now  _ he has Amy’s permission, it will be so much worse now, _ but also relieved because  _ he has Amy’s permission, this could actually be a thing that happens!  _

But the devastation wins out in the end, because it doesn’t really matter, does it? Even if Amy approves, Ethan only agreed in the first place because it was just one time. And that’s fair. Mark understands that. He doesn’t want to ruin their friendship either. 

So where does that leave him?

In bed, mid-morning on a Tuesday. His main channel video for the day was posted early, they already have several Unus Annus videos filmed and edited ahead of time, and he has no other obligations. So he lays in bed, ignoring his six-thirty alarm for the first time in… years. 

Amy is understandably worried. This is not normal behavior for him. He’s not sick, he just… doesn’t feel like getting out of bed. She offers to make him lunch, but he declines. He’s not hungry.

It’s one of their days off from Unus Annus, but Mark hears Ethan’s voice outside his bedroom door a little while later. He frowns. Amy must have called him. 

“Is he okay? What’s wrong?” Ethan’s voice is muffled, but Mark can still hear what he’s saying. 

“I don’t know,” Amy responds, and Mark feels guilty for worrying them. But not guilty enough to get up. “Maybe you can go and… talk to him?” Amy suggests.

Mark waits, but Ethan doesn’t enter. He hears their footsteps disappear down the hallway. He growls and punches his mattress, burying his face in his pillow. Ethan’s not even going to try to make him feel better? Not that he would be able to, but he’s not even going to  _ try?  _

Mark stews in his annoyance, trying not to feel hurt. 

Then, maybe about fifteen minutes later, someone knocks on his door. It creaks open, and Ethan sticks his head in. “Mark?” he calls. 

Mark ignores him, but Ethan enters anyway. He leaves the door open behind him. 

“Hey Mark,” Ethan says quietly. “Amy said you weren’t hungry, so I made you hot chocolate.”

“We don’t have any hot chocolate,” Mark replies, muffled by the pillow against his face. 

“Yeah, I know. I made this from scratch. My… special recipe.”

Mark rolls over, looking up at Ethan who is standing next to the bed, a mug in hand. “Your ‘special’ recipe? Did you come in this?” he jokes, but his heart’s not in it.

Ethan chuckles. “No. I did use one special ingredient, though. Try it!”

Mark squints suspiciously, but now he’s curious. He sits up and takes the mug from Ethan. He blows on it for a moment, then brings the rim to his lips. 

“Mmm, tastes like hot chocolate,” Mark comments. It’s good, though. Warm. “What’s the special ingredient you used?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Ethan enthuses. “I used half-and-half instead of milk.”

“What? That’s not special!” Mark blurts, flabbergasted. “That’s pretty much the same thing!”

“It is not!” Ethan argues.

“Yes it is!”

“Nuh uh! Half-and-half is creamier and tastier than whole milk!”

“That is false!” Mark exclaims. “Whole milk is delicious. A lot of people drink whole milk. Half-and-half, on the other hand, is only for cooking. If it’s so good, why don’t people drink it?”

“You make a valid point,” Ethan acknowledges. “But I’m telling you, half-and-half is better than whole milk!”

“The validity of your claim must be tested!” Mark shouts, suddenly feeling rejuvenated. He chugs the rest of the hot chocolate and rips the blankets off himself. 

He jumps out of bed and heads directly for the door, uncaring that he’s only wearing his boxer briefs. Only Amy and Ethan are home to see him, so it doesn’t matter. 

Ethan follows him to the kitchen. Amy blinks at the two of them from the couch in the living room. She sets her book aside and follows him into the kitchen as well. 

With great flair, Mark opens the refrigerator and makes a show of locating the half-and-half. The carton is tiny, practically miniscule, and only about half of it is left. He doesn’t bother with a glass, just drinks straight from the carton. 

He only really gets two mouthfuls from the amount that’s left, but those two mouthfuls… are good. Ethan is right: half-and-half  _ is _ creamier and tastier than whole milk. He can’t believe it. He’s been drinking whole milk his whole life, he’s always thought -- always  _ said -- _ whole milk is the best, when half-and-half was really better the whole time!

Better in every single way! And it doesn’t matter that people only use it for cooking, does it? He can drink it like milk if he wants to, and he will!

He feels so many emotions cascade through him in those few short moments. He feels confused by the onslaught, but also simultaneously like he’s discovered the secret of the universe. 

“Ethan!” he exclaims. He walks over to him and places his hands on both of Ethan’s shoulders. “You’re a genius!” he tells the younger boy. Then he turns to Amy: “We need more half-and-half!”

She smiles at him, bewildered but happy. “So, are you feeling… better now?”

“Yes. I have both of my favorite people with me --” Mark winds his arms around each of their shoulders, pulling them both close to his chest -- “And I just made an earth-shattering discovery. I’m going to the store!” He places a smacking kiss on each of their cheeks -- Amy first, then Ethan -- and then goes back to his bedroom to get dressed. 

There’s silence behind him, but as Mark’s leaving the kitchen he hears Ethan chuckle. “Umm… what just happened?”

  
  


*

  
  


“Actually, it was Ethan’s idea,” Mark tells the camera. He takes a sip from his carton of half-and-half, trying to keep up with the bombardment of comments he’s receiving on his YouTube livestream chat. 

There’s way too many for him to be able to read them all, and he only addresses the ones that amuse him. 

“Yes, it’s better than canned corn,” Mark laughs. He’s still waiting on that Del Monte sponsorship. He looks at the camera again. “Hey, Horizon -- if you wanna sponsor me, that’d be cool,” he says, only half joking. He’s promoting their half-and-half for free!

“It’s surprisingly delicious,” he says next, in response to some comments about how drinking straight half-and-half is gross. “You should try it.”

The chat moves on to other topics, like Mark’s hair (“Yes it is very long, but I refuse to cut it myself, you saw what happened to Ethan.”), his new favorite games (“I wouldn’t say Fall Guys is my new favorite, but it is addicting.”) and how he feels about Unus Annus coming to an end very soon (“No comment.”). 

Truthfully, he’s not sure how to feel about Unus Annus ending soon. Relief, absolutely, that he and Ethan won’t need to come up with any more ideas and post videos on an entire other channel when it’s done. Uploading videos on their main channels and also on Unus Annus has been an  _ exorbitant  _ amount of work.

On the other hand, part of him is dreading it. Not only because making Unus Annus videos is fun (most of the time), but also because it allows him to work with Amy and Ethan. They aren’t really super involved with his main channel anymore.

He frowns. He’ll have to think of a way to get them more involved. Ethan especially. Without Unus Annus, they don’t really have an excuse to visit each other’s houses several times a week. Which is just not acceptable. There’s not a lot of time left, but he’ll think of something. Maybe Ethan will have some ideas.

Slowly, Mark is becoming more comfortable with the fact that he’s attracted to both Amy  _ and _ Ethan, and he wants both of them. He still hasn’t talked to Ethan about it, though. He’s waiting for the right moment.

At least, that’s what he tells himself. 

In reality, he finds himself thinking of ways he can sneakily get Ethan to agree to more sex without actually admitting his real feelings to the other. Thoughts like, “I could tell him I want to know what it feels like to come untouched,” or “I want to know what it’s like to kiss another man.”

Except, that doesn’t really work, does it? He knows it would be wrong for him to lie to Ethan about his reasons for wanting sex. He shouldn’t use the younger boy like that.

And the kissing excuse won’t work, because Mark already knows what it’s like to kiss a man. Maybe he could spin it that he’s never kissed a man he actually wants to kiss? But then he would be admitting to Ethan that he wants to kiss him.

And Mark does want to kiss him. In a sexual way, yes, but also in a “Hi! I’m so happy to see you! Thank you for being here!” way. 

Sometimes Mark thinks he should just do it -- just kiss Ethan full on the mouth and see what happens. Normally he would, and wouldn’t care about the consequences, but in this case it’s not something he’s willing to risk. He doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Ethan over a kiss.

So things have pretty much been going the same as always, with one exception. 

One very important, notable exception.

Amy is under the impression Mark and Ethan are fucking. She’s not obvious about it, but there’s definitely a mischievous glint in her eyes when the three of them are together. And she starts finding reasons to leave the two of them alone together. 

Ethan, of course, is oblivious, and doesn’t notice anything amiss. He does comment that Amy seems to be going out a lot more, but Mark just shrugs. He can’t exactly explain to Ethan that Amy is purposefully giving them time alone together so they can have sex. 

Mark has told her several times she doesn’t have to do that for them, but she says she doesn’t mind. She says she kind of likes it, that it’s good for her to get out of the house and try new things. Apparently Kathryn is thrilled. 

So Mark spends a lot of time alone with Ethan. Which is great. He just really wishes they were having the sex Amy thinks they’re having. 

It’s actually kind of depressing, if he thinks about it too much.

Mark ends the livestream and takes his empty carton of half-and-half with him to the kitchen. Amy is having dinner at Kathryn’s place, so him and Ethan will be alone for the evening. As he’s debating what they should have for dinner, Ethan arrives with sandwiches. 

They eat, and have only been filming for about an hour when a clap of thunder shakes the whole house. 

“Jesus!” Ethan shouts. Bursts of lightning light up the sky, and rain starts pelting down. 

“What the hell?!” Mark shrieks, as hail starts pounding against the roof. They rush to the sliding door leading to the backyard, looking outside with grimaces on their faces. The hail is only a little larger than pea-size, so hopefully it won’t damage his house. 

A bolt of lightning strikes and a boom of thunder follows almost immediately after.

Both Ethan and Mark jump, quickly moving away from the window. 

“I didn’t know it was supposed to storm today,” Ethan says as Mark checks the radar on his iPad. 

“Jesus, look at this.” Mark holds the screen out so Ethan can see the huge blob of red over their area. 

_ “Jesus,” _ Ethan echoes, with feeling. He goes back to the window. “I can’t go back home in this weather! Do you know how long it will last?”

“The storm system is enormous,” Mark answers. “It could last all night.”

Ethan groans, sinking to the floor. Then he perks back up worriedly. “What about Amy? Where is she?”

Mark calls Amy’s cell, and she tells him she’ll stay at Kathryn’s house for the night to wait out the storm. “Have fun with Ethan~” she teases, and Mark grumbles. 

“She’s staying at Kathryn’s,” Mark informs the younger boy. “You can just stay here for the night.”

Ethan nods his agreement and joins Mark on the couch. “Should we keep filming?”

Mark thinks for a moment. “Nah,” he decides. “Let’s just watch a movie.” 

They watch Bad Boys and Bad Boys II as the storm rages outside. At one point, they pause the movie to film the storm, with Ethan giving a very questionable weather report. It’s getting late -- late enough that everything starts to seem funny to him and Ethan’s antics make him cackle more than usual. It’s very reminiscent of “1 Man 100 Accents”, which is still one of Mark’s favorite videos on the channel. He’s going to have fun editing this footage in the near future. 

The storm gets really bad after midnight, to the point that Mark considers venturing down into the basement. 

“I don’t wanna go down there,” Ethan whines. “I wanna cuddle and watch Bad Boys For Life!”

Well, Mark can’t say no to that, can he? He queues up the movie, still standing. If Ethan wants to cuddle, Mark will cuddle. He’s  _ great _ at cuddling. The beginning of the movie starts, and Mark spins around. 

He frowns. Ethan is sitting on the couch with Chica laying across his lap, his hands buried in her thick fur. Mark sighs to himself, annoyed. Ethan meant he wanted to cuddle  _ with Chica. _ Of course. Why would he want to cuddle with Mark? That’s not a thing they do.

Mark grabs a blanket for himself and plops down away from Ethan on the couch, not even close to touching. He has to remind himself he has no logical, valid reason to be annoyed with Ethan for this. 

About twenty minutes into the movie, Chica jumps out of Ethan’s lap and trots away, not looking back.

“Chica!” Ethan calls, betrayed. “Don’t leave me!” But she ignores him. 

“I’m cold, Mark,” Ethan whines a few minutes later. He doesn’t have a blanket, and his heater wandered away.

“That’s tough,” Mark comments, comfy and warm underneath his blanket. If Ethan would have cuddled with him  _ in the first place, _ he wouldn’t be cold now,  _ would he?  _

Ethan pouts, wrapping his arms around himself. It’s not cute. At all.

“Do you have another blanket?” Ethan asks about a minute later.

“Nope. This is the only one,” Mark lies. 

_ “What? _ That can’t be the only one you have!” Ethan argues.

“This is the only blanket,” Mark insists, calm. 

Ethan grumbles to himself unintelligibly. 

A few more minutes pass, both of them watching Bad Boys For Life.

“I’m  _ cold, _ Mark,” Ethan murmurs quietly, his blue eyes beseeching. 

“Fine!” Mark says. “Get over here, then!” He lifts the edge of his blanket.

“Re-really?” Ethan stutters, shocked. 

“Yes! If it’ll make you shut up! I’m trying to watch the movie!”

Ethan scoots over to him, and Mark drapes his arm over Ethan’s shoulders. 

“Ooh, so warm,” Ethan enthuses. He wraps one arm around Mark’s midsection and settles in to watch the movie. 

Mark just sighs quietly, caught between fondness and annoyance. Give Ethan an inch and he’ll take a mile. 

He doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep until he feels gentle fingers in his hair. 

“Mark?”

He leans into the touch, sighing as the fingers push his hair back out of his face.

“Mark, wake up.”

He blinks his eyes open, frowning as Ethan slowly comes into focus. He’s still on the couch with the blanket. It’s bright outside, birds chirping, and Mark feels very disgruntled with the knowledge they fell asleep on the couch sometime last night and he doesn’t even remember it. 

At least it’s not storming anymore. 

“What time is it?” he mumbles, attempting to sit up. 

Ethan’s fingers leave his hair. “Still pretty early. A little after seven.”

Mark frowns some more. Usually his internal alarm wakes him up at six-thirty every morning without fail. 

Well, whatever. He’ll let it slide just this once. Still feeling groggy, he leans back a bit, observing Ethan. Why is the younger boy awake, anyway?

As if Ethan can read his mind, he says, “I’m gonna go.”

Go? Go where? Mark doesn’t want him to leave. He should stay for breakfast at least. And Mark’s not opposed to some more cuddling. 

Ethan answers his unspoken question. “I’ve got stuff to do at home,” he explains. “And I need to do my morning workout.”

Oh. Well, that’s valid. Doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it.

“Don’t pout,” Ethan teases.

“I’m not pouting,” Mark refutes. He glances at Ethan from the corner of his eye. 

“Thanks for letting me stay overnight,” Ethan says. He’s still sitting next to Mark, making no move to actually leave. 

For some reason, the words evoke strange feelings in Mark’s chest. He kind of feels like he’s about to cry, just a little bit. What’s wrong with him? He’s still half-asleep, that must be it.

“You’re welcome,” he grumbles.

Ethan hums, still sitting next to him, still watching him. Still not leaving. Mark can’t quite read the expression on the other’s face. It’s… searching, almost. Or curious? Anticipating? Like he’s waiting for something.

Mark’s heart rate increases. Is this it? Is this the moment he’s been waiting for? Should he say something? What should he say?

_ Kiss me.  _ His lips are not cooperating with his brain. He can’t get the words out. 

“I’ll come back later,” Ethan murmurs. “I’ll bring lunch.”

_ Kiss me, _ is what Mark means to say, but instead he says, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Ethan agrees. But he’s still not leaving.

_ Kiss me. Please. _

Their eyes are locked together, searching. Waiting. 

_ Kiss me goodbye. _

When Ethan stands, Mark swears he feels physical pain in his chest.

_ Kiss me before you go. _

Mark watches as Ethan strides to the door, not looking back. He wants to call out, to say something, anything to bring him back. But his breath is trapped in his throat.

“Bye, Mark.” Ethan calls as he slips out the front door.

_ Kiss me. Don’t go. _

“Bye, Ethan.”

_ Please kiss me. _

The door closes.

_ I want you. _

  
  


*

  
  


Is he pining? Is this what pining feels like?

Mark sighs, still laying on the couch. There are a lot of things he should say to Ethan. A lot of things he  _ wants _ to say to Ethan.

A lot of it is mushy crap. Stuff he would normally never say out loud.

For example: he wants to tell Ethan he’s handsome. Not for a joke. Just the two of them, he wants to tell Ethan he is genuinely attractive, and Mark thinks he’s a solid ten.

He also wants to tell Ethan he is happy they’re friends. He’s thankful Ethan is in his life.

It’s strange. Recently Mark has been reminiscing a lot about how him and Ethan became friends, and how  _ lucky _ he really is.

Most people, in Mark’s experience, are not that great. Most people are ordinary. Boring. Some are even downright  _ bad. _ Selfish and greedy. Worse than dirt.

But Ethan… becoming friends with Ethan was like striking gold. Like finding a pearl inside an oyster, Ethan is exceptional. He  _ is _ a pearl. No, he’s better than that. He’s a  _ diamond. _

Most people are weak. Their true selves show through when they’re stripped down to their barest parts. They really are like dirt, impure and untrustworthy. 

But Ethan’s not like them. He’s a  _ diamond. _ A singularity.

Mark loves him. Mark  _ wants _ him. This  _ longing _ he feels is destroying him. 

The more he thinks about it, the more impatient he feels. Why is he waiting? What is he afraid of? Rejection? Ridiculous. He  _ knows _ Ethan loves him. Their relationship is stronger than this. He has nothing to be afraid of.

Mark pushes himself off the couch. He brushes his teeth and showers. Gets dressed in new clothes. He makes breakfast, and works for a few hours. 

Ethan, true to his word, returns in the afternoon. 

“Mark?” he calls, letting himself in.

Mark walks to the living room to meet him. 

Ethan smiles at him, setting a plastic bag on the kitchen counter. “I brought burritos for lunch,” he informs happily. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“I am hungry,” Mark confirms. But he’s not looking at the burritos. 

Mark enters the kitchen, approaching Ethan, who is busy taking burritos out of the bag. He stands next to Ethan, accepting the burrito handed to him. He looks at it for a moment, then sets it very carefully on the counter.

“You don’t want it?” Ethan asks, his brows furrowed slightly. 

Mark shakes his head, gazing into Ethan’s eyes. “I do want it,” he murmurs quietly.

And without giving himself time to back out, he pins Ethan against the counter and kisses him.

Ethan kisses back immediately, threading his fingers in Mark’s hair and holding tight. Mark grips Ethan’s hips with both hands and lifts him up onto the counter. 

Their kiss breaks for a moment, and Ethan tugs his hair a little bit to tilt his head back, their lips connecting again like magnets. Ethan wraps his legs around Mark’s waist and grinds against him shamelessly. He’s already hard, his dick a hot line pressing against Mark’s abs. He’s such a good boy, so responsive.

Ethan moans quietly against his mouth as Mark slides one hand inside the back of his tight black jeans. He squeezes Ethan’s ass, breaking the kiss so he can pull Ethan off the counter and spin him around. Maybe now he can finally fulfill his fantasy of bending Ethan over the counter and --

“Wait!” Ethan gasps suddenly, and Mark blinks, his wandering hands stilling.

“I wanna --” Ethan cuts himself off and spins back around, dropping to his knees. He reaches out with slightly shaky hands and Mark watches, hands by his sides, as Ethan unzips his jeans and pulls them down his thighs along with his boxer briefs. 

Ethan drags the clothing all the way down his legs and holds them against the floor so Mark can step out of them. Mark was already half hard when they started kissing, but now his dick is really getting with the program. He hadn’t even considered this as a possibility. How silly of him.

Mark smiles as Ethan glances up at him, something about the tilt of the younger boy’s head both shy and confident at the same time. Mark holds his shirt out of the way so he has a clear view of Ethan on his knees below him. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t getting off on the sight alone. He wants to grab a handful of Ethan’s hair and tilt his head back as he shoves his cock down the other’s throat.

But instead, he watches and waits as Ethan guides his cock to his mouth, sucking the head in and licking over the slit. Then Ethan closes his eyes and flattens his tongue, pushing forward and sucking more of Mark in his mouth. He’s able to fit a little more than half of Mark’s cock in his mouth before he gags a little bit, his throat convulsing. 

“I thought you said you didn’t have a gag reflex,” Mark teases, knowing full well Ethan has never said that to him. 

Ethan opens his eyes so he can glare up at him. He starts pulling back so he can correct Mark about how he never said that, but Mark reaches down to grip the back of his head before he can pull off completely. He doesn’t shove Ethan’s head on his cock, but just holds him there so he can’t pull off. 

Mark grins down at him and Ethan makes an indignant noise in the back of his throat. He can’t speak with a big cock in his mouth. This is officially Mark’s new favorite way of making Ethan unable to talk. 

Ethan narrows his eyes at him, like he’s saying  _ I know exactly what you’re doing and you’ll pay for it later. _ But he’s also licking the underside of Mark’s dick as he does, so he must not be that annoyed about it. 

And as Mark watches, Ethan slowly relaxes his jaw, letting Mark’s cock fill his mouth, a little deeper this time. He pulls back just enough to breathe in through his nose, and then sinks down again, slowly, even further.

“Damn,” Mark says, impressed. “How far can you go? Can you take it all?” 

Ethan sort of grunts around his dick, still unable to speak. Both of his hands are fisted on his own knees. He tilts his head back enough for another controlled breath and then sucks him almost all the way down. Mark gasps when his cockhead makes contact with the back of Ethan’s throat. 

His chest heaving, Ethan pulls back almost all the way off so he can breathe. And then he’s right back down again until his nose is squished against Mark’s pelvis. It’s the slowest, most meticulous blowjob Mark has ever gotten, and it’s killing him. But he doesn’t want it to end. 

“How are you so good at this?” The words fall from Mark’s lips without his permission.

Ethan moans a little in answer. The vibrations from the sound surprise Mark and he thrusts deeper into Ethan’s mouth on instinct. Ethan whimpers, muffled, but he grips his own cock in his jeans, rubbing himself through the fabric. 

Oh. So he liked that?

Gently, Mark tilts Ethan’s head further back so his throat is one long line he can fuck into. At this angle he’s practically standing over Ethan, holding his head still with both hands and slowly sliding his cock in and out, becoming more confident when Ethan doesn’t protest. 

“Take a deep breath,” Mark warns, and slowly pushes his cock in all the way until his balls are resting on Ethan’s chin. 

“Oh my god,” he whispers, in awe. Ethan’s mouth is so fucking wet inside, his spit gathered in the back of his throat. Mark holds his cock there until Ethan starts squirming, then pulls back enough so Ethan can breathe, but not all the way.

After Ethan sucks in another deep breath through his nose, Mark pushes all the way in again, marvelling at how Ethan’s throat just  _ opens _ for him to fit inside. His dick is  _ not _ small, there’s easily at least a few inches stuffed down Ethan’s throat. Mark has never fucked anyone’s throat before, and it’s one of the hottest things he’s ever done. He can’t believe Ethan is letting him do this.

“How are you so good at this?” Mark asks again, more of a moan this time. 

He lets Ethan breathe for a few seconds before pushing in again. As he does, drips of saliva leak out the corners of Ethan’s mouth. 

“Can you swallow?” Mark asks, his dick still buried in Ethan’s wet throat. 

Ethan doesn’t respond -- he can’t even make any noise with Mark’s cock blocking his airway -- but he squeezes his eyes shut in concentration, and a moment later Mark feels his throat muscles working, his tongue pressing up against the underside of Mark’s dick as he swallows around Mark’s cock. 

“Oh my god,” Mark gasps as he pulls back a few inches. “Do that again,” he pleads, hardly letting Ethan get a full breath in before he’s pressing forward into that tight heat. 

Eyes still clenched shut tight, Ethan swallows again, milking Mark’s cock in his throat. 

Ethan’s chest heaves for breath when Mark pulls back a few inches, so he lets him have a moment. Ethan blinks up at him, his eyes unfocused for the first few seconds. 

“More?” Mark asks,  _ begs, _ and Ethan moans around the cock resting on his tongue. He hasn’t tried to push Mark away even once. 

“Deep breath,” Mark instructs, and Ethan swallows around him again even before Mark can ask.

Little tears build at the corners of Ethan’s eyes, and yet he’s still letting Mark shove his cock all the way down his throat and hold it there until he starts squirming for oxygen. There’s something powerful about that. That  _ trust.  _ Ethan’s trust that Mark will pull out enough so he can breathe when he needs to. Mark wants so badly to ignore Ethan’s need to breathe and just fuck his throat until he comes. It would be so easy.

But he’s already close, the delicious heat of an impending orgasm simmering in his groin. So instead he waits and lets it build, and then pulls back just enough so he can press his cockhead firmly against Ethan’s tongue.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasps, wrapping his hand around the base of his dick, stroking himself. 

Ethan makes an encouraging noise, his lips still wrapped around the head of Mark’s dick, and Mark comes in his mouth with a groan, shooting all over Ethan’s tongue and the back of his mouth. 

“Oh my god,” Mark sighs again when he’s finally done coming. He pulls back slowly and watches languidly as Ethan stumbles over to the sink so he can spit Mark’s come down the drain. Then Ethan fills a cup with water straight from the tap and drinks it all. 

“Have you done that before?” Mark asks, still coming down from the high. 

Ethan puts the cup in the sink and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. “No,” he says. Then he has to clear his throat because his voice is absolutely  _ wrecked. _ “No, definitely not. There’s no way I would do that for anyone else.” 

“Oh,” Mark says, smiling. He kind of wants to kiss Ethan again. But even through his post-orgasm haze he knows it would be a bad idea. The taste of his own dick is a flavor he never needs to know. He’s not  _ that _ curious.

Mark follows along willingly when Ethan takes his hand and leads him to the living room. 

“Bend here, please,” Ethan requests, and Mark laughs as Ethan gently pushes his shoulder down until he’s kneeling in front of the couch, and then down even more so that Mark’s upper body is resting on the cushions, his bare ass sticking out. 

“I see where you’re going with this,” Mark comments, looking back at Ethan over his shoulder. “And while I’m not opposed, I want to make it known that it’s technically  _ my _ turn to fuck  _ you.”  _

Ethan smiles as he kneels behind him, digging in his jeans pocket for lube and a condom, which he places on the couch next to Mark’s elbow. “You can fuck me next time, big boy,” he says. 

But Mark is more focused on the lube and condom. “You prepared for this?” he wonders. Normally Ethan doesn’t walk around with lube packets and a condom in his pockets. 

“Hoped for it, more like,” Ethan admits. 

“Oh,” Mark says, smiling. “Well in that case: please continue.” He turns back around to face the back of the couch, his elbows resting on the cushions. He closes his eyes and relaxes as Ethan slowly enters one wet finger inside him. 

Being fingered almost right after having an orgasm is certainly a new experience. It’s easier, definitely, although it’s also much more sensitive. It’s confusing because it feels good, but he just came so his dick isn’t quite caught up with the program yet. 

“You know, Mark,” Ethan says casually, two fingers deep in his ass. “We still need to film us doing enemas.”    
Mark frowns. Why is Ethan interrupting his musings to say that? “Yeah,” he agrees. “Why are you bringing that up now?”

“Well I was thinking, enemas probably clean your ass real good, right?”

“Yeah?” Mark's answer comes out as a question. “That’s kind of the point of an enema. I think.” He may need to research further. “Why?”

“Because after we clean out your ass, I think I want to try rimming.”

Mark does a double take, unsure he heard correctly. “Rimming? As in licking my asshole?”

“Yeah!” Ethan giggles. “That’s why you’d need to do the enema first.”

“I’m pretty clean down there right now,” Mark says. “I just took a shower a few hours ago.”

“A shower is not the same as an enema, Mark.”

“You right,” Mark agrees. “When you’re right you’re right. We should do those enemas soon then.” 

“I’ll put it on my shopping list.”

“Good, good. Hey, you done back there yet? Come on, man.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on a second.” 

Mark waits patiently as Ethan rips the condom open and slides it on his dick, still feeling rather languid and relaxed. He’s only half-hard, but it’s okay. He probably won’t come again so soon. 

Since Mark has already experienced this once -- in the same exact position in fact, even if it isn’t the same couch -- he thinks he’s prepared for Ethan to enter him. It won’t be as much of a surprise this time because he already knows what it feels like. He really believes that. He truly does.

But he’s wrong. He’s not prepared. 

The smooth glide of Ethan’s cock in his ass shocks him. It’s so fucking deep, he loses his ability to breathe for a few seconds. It’s still on the edge of being too much, the burn and the  _ fullness,  _ it’s like the first time all over again. But when Ethan’s cockhead hits his prostate, it’s almost even  _ better _ than last time. He’s still so sensitive from his recent orgasm everything feels magnified. In a way, it really is another first for him. He’s never been fucked after an orgasm before. 

Mark gets lost in it for a while, riding the sensations and letting the waves of pleasure crash over him. But he snaps out of it when he notices his traitorous dick is  _ hard again. _ Hard and leaking precome. Mark is hard again and Ethan hasn’t even come yet. There’s no way Mark can come  _ twice _ before Ethan even comes  _ once. _ His pride won’t allow it. Absolutely not.

“Wait a second,” he gasps, catching his breath. 

Ethan stops mid-thrust, also panting. He makes a curious noise. 

“You -- come over here. Sit here, please.” Mark pats the couch cushion next to him. 

“Okay?” Ethan says, confused, but he pulls out slowly and sits on the couch where Mark instructed. 

“Good.” Mark praises. He gets to his feet and finally removes his shirt, then climbs up over Ethan’s lap.

“Wow,” Ethan sighs, gazing up at him. He runs one hand lightly down Mark’s naked chest. “So handsome.”

There’s not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice, and Mark preens, showing off a little as he reaches behind to guide Ethan's cock back to his ass. He hisses a little as he slides down. This angle is definitely… something. It’s not a good angle to reach his prostate, but the fullness and the stretch almost makes up for that. 

Also, he likes being above Ethan like this. Likes being the cause of the worshipful expression on his face. His eyes appear green in the light, his lips red and swollen from his cocksucking earlier. Mark has an urge to lean down and kiss him, but he doesn’t. Instead he bites his own lip, and focuses on working his hips up and down, and back and forth, squeezing his muscles around Ethan’s cock. 

“Mark, I -- I’m not gonna last,” Ethan gasps. “I --  _ ah! _ \-- I’m gonna come.”

“Good,” Mark responds. “I want you to.”

Ethan moans, holding Mark’s hips still as he comes. Mark can feel how his dick hardens even further and twitches in his ass, but he can’t feel anything else because of the condom. He briefly imagines what it might feel like to have come dripping out of his ass. Would he like it? 

He stays seated on Ethan’s cock until the younger boy starts squirming underneath him, too weak with pleasure to push him off. 

“Mark -- too much,” Ethan whimpers, pushing ineffectually at his thighs.

Mark takes pity on him and climbs off, settling on the couch next to the breathless boy. While Ethan catches his breath and deals with the condom, Mark is overcome with the vision of Ethan mewling underneath him, oversensitive for a different reason, letting Mark fuck his tight ass until he screams. 

He’s still hard. Fuck. He wraps his hand around his dick, stroking languidly. Can he really come again so soon? Well obviously he  _ can; _ a better question is  _ should he? _ It will probably hurt. But then again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

As Mark is deep in thought, he doesn’t notice Ethan returning until he’s already kneeling between Mark’s legs. He slaps Mark’s hand away and sucks his dick into his mouth again, moaning. 

“Oh my god,” Mark says, again, like it’s the only thought in his head whenever his cock is buried in Ethan’s throat.

And Mark is a lot closer to coming than he thought, because it only takes about twenty more seconds of Ethan sucking his dick before his whole body tenses as he comes a second time, his orgasm taking him completely by surprise. 

Ethan strokes him through it, pulling his mouth away and watching as Mark paints his stomach with his own come. Mark collapses back on the couch when it’s over, completely boneless, both his ass and his dick sore. 

Ethan leans over him and steals a kiss as he’s still recovering. Mark returns the kiss, so out of it he doesn’t even care that his dick was just in Ethan’s mouth. He’ll probably be annoyed about it later. Maybe. 

Then the two of them just breathe for a while, sitting next to each other on the couch. Mark grimaces when he starts to notice how sweaty and covered in fluids he is. And slowly, rational thoughts begin to penetrate his sex haze. 

“We’re still not friends with benefits,” he tells Ethan. Just to be clear. 

“Yeah, I know.”

“And we’re not boyfriends, either.”

Ethan just nods.

A few more moments of silence pass. Mark catches Ethan’s eye, holding his gaze. 

“You know I love you.” Mark says.

Ethan smiles, shy and sweet. He scoots infinitesimally closer. “You  _ know _ I love you,” he murmurs.

Yeah. Mark knows. 

They bask in comfortable silence for a while, just breathing. Mark knows he should get up soon. He really needs another shower. But then, Ethan asks:

“So… what am I, then?”

_ A diamond. _

Mark pretends to think about it. He’s not going to actually tell Ethan he thinks he’s a diamond. That would be way too embarrassing. “You’re Aladdin,” he decides. A diamond in the rough. His own personal joke. 

Ethan smiles, bewildered. “Aladdin? Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a very good thing,” Mark confirms. 

Ethan giggles. “Okay. That’s good enough for me.” He stands and starts digging around through his clothes on the floor. 

“What are you doing?” Mark asks, bemused. 

“Looking for my phone,” Ethan responds, and then exclaims, “Ah ha!” holding it up triumphantly. He unlocks the screen and starts typing.

“What are you doing?” Mark repeats, still confused. 

“Texting Amy. Letting her know it’s safe for her to come back.”

“What?” Mark stares as Ethan sends the message and then throws his phone on the couch. “Why? Am I missing something?”

Ethan raises a single brow, judging him. “You know Amy thinks we’ve been fucking for a while now, right?”

Mark chokes on air, flabbergasted. “Yes,  _ I _ know that! How do you know that?!”

“We talked after the whole half-and-half thing.” 

Mark’s mouth drops open in shock.

“So you’ve known for  _ weeks  _ that I asked Amy if we can have more sex, and you didn’t say anything?! Why didn’t you tell me!?” 

Ethan shrugs, his expression guilty. “I almost did. But I was waiting for you. I wanted you to figure out what you wanted for yourself.”

“I can’t believe you and Amy hid this from me!” Mark feels betrayed, but mostly embarrassed. He can’t believe Ethan actually knew the whole time!

“Well, Amy didn’t hide anything,” Ethan says. “She thinks we’ve been having sex regularly, and I haven’t corrected her. It’s not her fault.”

Mark grunts in acknowledgement. It’s weird to think of Ethan and Amy interacting without him. It’s stupid on his part, but he forgets that the two of them have been friends for as long as Ethan has been friends with Mark himself.

Still fuming, Mark stands up from the couch and strides to his bathroom for a quick shower. 

Ethan follows him, still naked. “I’m sorry, Mark.” he apologizes. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you on purpose. I was just trying to be patient and let you think it over first. I didn’t wanna rush you.” The younger boy gazes down at his own feet, his expression sad.

Mark sighs. He’s being unreasonable. He should be glad the two of them discussed this with each other so they’re all on the same page.

“I’m not angry,” he says. He still sounds angry, so he takes a deep breath and tries again. “I’m glad you two talked about it. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to shower.” He turns the water on and steps under the spray. 

Ethan peeks around the shower curtain. “Can I come in?” he asks. “I wanna get clean, too.”

“Yeah, all right.” Mark sighs. “Get in here.”

They finish cleaning the couch in the living room and are heating up the burritos for a late lunch when Amy gets back. They have a productive film day, and delegate who is going to edit and upload each video for the next week so they remain on schedule.

“Can I talk to you real quick, Mark?” Ethan asks as he’s standing by the front door to leave. 

“What’s up?” Mark wonders as he joins the younger boy. 

Ethan fidgets for a second. “Do you remember how I joked at the beginning of Unus Annus about how we should end the year getting married and getting a house together? For the channel?” 

“You were joking?” Mark says, teasing. 

But Ethan blushes cherry red. “Well I was joking about getting married, obviously, but about getting a house together… not really?” He looks at Mark with a hint of panic in his wide eyes. 

“Wait… you actually want to?” Mark asks. “Get a house with me and Amy?” 

“Well… yeah.” Ethan admits. 

“Oh,” Mark says, feeling blindsided. Then he says, “We should ask Amy first. There’s no point talking about it if she doesn’t approve.”

“That’s fair,” Ethan nods.

The two of them make their way back to the living room where Amy is watching TV. Mark doesn’t know what he’s expecting, but he’s not surprised at all when Amy says yes, with a beaming smile.

  
  


*

“I can’t believe it’s over,” Ethan repeats for the hundredth time.

“I know,” Mark agrees. He’s not even annoyed. He still can’t believe it either. “One year. An entire year.”

“We did it. We really did.” A smile blooms on Ethan’s face. “This is the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“Really? Are you sure?” Mark bites his lower lip suggestively. 

Ethan’s eyes widen, and he glances around the room. But even though this is their “End of Unus Annus” party, no one is really paying attention to them. Mark places his hand surreptitiously on Ethan’s hip and steers him casually out of the room. 

“Are you insinuating,” Ethan murmurs quietly,  _ “You’re _ the best thing I’ve ever done?”

Mark leads him to the first dark room he sees and shuts the door. He gently pushes Ethan toward the bed in the middle of the room and doesn’t even bother turning on the lights.

“You wore those shorts just to tempt me, didn’t you,” Mark growls softly. 

“Maybe,” Ethan giggles. “Is it working?” He steps back toward the bed, pulling Mark along with him by his shirt. At the last second, he switches their positions and Mark ends up falling on his back on the bed. Ethan climbs on top of him, victorious. 

“It’s definitely working,” Mark agrees, sliding his hand up Ethan’s smooth thigh, all the way to the hem of his black Camp Unus Annus booty shorts.

Ethan shivers a little bit, grinding down on Mark’s lap.

“I wanna --”

But whatever Ethan wants to do is interrupted when the door opens and the light is flicked on. Mark winces at the brightness for a moment, but then sees Amy standing in the doorway. 

“Amy --” he begins, removing his hand from the back of Ethan’s indecently short shorts. 

“Don’t stop on my account,” Amy says. She closes the door behind her. 

“Sorry, Amy,” Ethan says, sliding off Mark’s lap. “I’ll go --”

“No, you can stay. I actually followed you two in here because I want to ask you something.” 

“Sure. What is it?” Mark wonders. She doesn’t seem angry, so that’s a good sign. 

“Well, I’ve been thinking,” she begins. “You’re not the only one who’s curious, Mark. And I believe in the message of Unus Annus as much as both of you do.”

“Of course,” Mark agrees. 

Amy continues. “We shouldn’t take the time we have for granted. I really do believe that. And there are some things I want to try. You’re not the only ones who want to explore… sexually.”

Both Mark and Ethan’s mouths fall open, and they both just sit on the bed, stunned.

“And what I want to try requires three people: me, and two men. More specifically: me, and the two of you.” She points at both of them.

“Haah -- what?” Ethan stutters, his face as red as a cherry tomato.

Mark glances between the two of them, his eyes widening as he tries to understand what’s going on.

“I know this is a lot,” Amy says. “It’s okay if you want to think about it for a while. So, I’m going back home. In the meantime, think it over, talk about it, and let me know what you decide. I’ll be waiting.”

A tense silence fills the room after Amy leaves, closing the door behind her. 

“You -- and Amy?!” Mark whisper-shouts at Ethan, emotions overflowing. 

“Dude. No! I wouldn’t do that to you! Amy for sure wouldn’t do that to you! This is the first time I’ve  _ ever _ heard her say something like that!”

Mark gulps air into his lungs, chest heaving. His heart rate begins to calm as rationality returns to him. “Yeah, I know that,” he agrees. “I was just surprised.”

“Me too!” Ethan exclaims.

They stare at each other for a few moments, still processing what just happened. 

“Mark, do you… is this something you’d be okay with?”

“Just -- let me think,” he demands. His brain seems to be malfunctioning. Amy and Ethan? Amy and Ethan together? Physically? He can’t imagine it, has never even  _ considered _ that it might happen.

Of course, Mark would be there, too. Amy did specifically say what she wants to try involves her and  _ two _ men. But not just any two men. Only him and Ethan.

The more he thinks about it, the more he starts to like the idea. There’s so many more  _ possibilities _ with the three of them, they could try  _ so many things -- _

“How do  _ you _ feel about this?” Mark asks Ethan before he lets himself fall too deeply down the rabbit hole. 

“Well, it’s Amy,” Ethan says. “I think we should give her whatever she wants.”

“I agree,” Mark says. 

“I mean, she’s done so much for us. She put up with all of our bullshit and never complained.” 

Mark nods. 

“She gave us so many video ideas, and did so much work behind the scenes! Filming, editing, shopping for materials we needed,” Ethan continues. 

“You right,” Mark says. “We couldn’t have finished Unus Annus without her. Who knows where we’d be now?”

“Dead, probably!” Ethan shouts, only half joking. 

“You right,” Mark repeats. “Absolutely right. This isn’t about us,” he gestures between the two of them. “This is about Amy, and what she wants. And if she wants  _ both _ of us, then that’s what she’s going to get.”

“Yeah!” Ethan agrees. “But what… what exactly does she want from us? Do you know?”

Mark blinks at him a few times, hesitating. “Are you… joking?”

Ethan hunches forward a little bit, his shoulders up around his ears. “I mean… not really? You know Amy a lot better than I do. What does she like?”

_ “Oh,” _ Mark says. He wraps an arm around Ethan’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “I know  _ exactly _ what she likes,” he confides. He already has several ideas in mind. “Here’s what we’re gonna do…”


End file.
